My Husband
by readyandpsyched
Summary: McKinley and Price are interviewed on a university radio program.


_It may be useful to read 'Memory' (a college AU) first, as this occurs in the same universe. However, do not read or disregard the second half of 'Memory' (past the break) as that portion of the story did not take place in this piece._

Transcript: 'Student Perspectives' from WUOH – December 22, 2013

[Station Identification] You're listening to WUOH 88.3 FM, 1300 AM, the University of Ohio's own student radio station.

[Audio Introduction: 'Student Perspectives']

_JESSICA MERRIT, host: Hello, hello and welcome to Student Perspectives, a weekly program where we profile interesting students and other members of the U.O. community. I'm your host Jessica Merrit. _

_On tonight's program, we're discussing SB 72—Ohio's historic Marriage Equality Bill that passed one month ago—and reactions from the University of Ohio community now that the bill has officially taken effect as of 12:01a.m. yesterday. That's December 21 for those of you listening on the podcast._

_Up later in this hour, Chris Brady hosts a round-table discussion with representatives from U.O. College Republicans and the U.O. Democratic Caucus on the implications of SB 72, and Marcia Nguyen talks with Economics professor Dr. Steve Klein about what the Marriage Equality Bill means for your pocketbook._

_But first, we're looking at the personal impact of this bill with a pair of students who have a very sweet story that is definitely 'Perspectives' worthy. With us right now in the studio we have two U.O. seniors, Connor McKinley and Kevin Price, here to talk about how the new law has affected them. Welcome to the show, guys._

KEVIN PRICE: Thank you.

CONNOR MCKINLEY: Thanks, happy to be here.

_JM: So, the Marriage Equality Bill obviously means a lot to both of you. You two have been working in various advocacy roles to get a bill like this passed for a while now. There have been a lot of ups and downs, I'm sure. Why is this particular issue important to you?_

CM: For me, it's a civil rights issue. It's about equality, pure and simple—that every person is able to feel comfortable, accepted and recognized by their community and their government and have access to the same rights and same benefits.

KP: Same, same. And I guess, for me, it's about having equal opportunity to make a commitment, a contract, and be recognized.

_JM: What has it been like for you to see this bill finally get passed?_

KP: Well, it's pretty incredible.

CM: Yeah, it's incredible. It's relieving, too, and kind of unbelievable.

_JM: Tell us about how you came to be involved with this issue._

CM: Well, we haven't been working on this for nearly as long as a lot of people have. It's been close to two years now, I guess. Yeah?

KP: Yeah.

CM: Yeah, we've been working with so many dedicated people who have been working for years and years and years and doing so much more than I ever could to see this happen. The 2004 'one man, one woman' constitutional amendment was a big blow to equality in this state. I was only a freshman in high school then, I didn't really know about it at all. And even if I had, heck, I probably would have supported it back then.

So then when I came here it still wasn't something that was really on my radar, but I got hooked up with a friend of a friend and I ended up interning with Equality Ohio, which is an incredible organization, they take a really great community-based approach to education and advocacy, in the summer of last year.

And then…then I guess that's where we got involved in the referendum to repeal the 2004 amendment and replace it with more neutral language, allowing for marriage between same- and opposite-sex couples. It was doing a lot of cold calling, door-to-door passing out educational materials, new media networking, a lot of student events, that kind of stuff.

_JM: And that proposed constitutional amendment failed, correct? _

CM: Yes, it was on the ballot in the election last year, but it failed.

_JM: How did that feel?_

CM: Well, it was awful. It was really disappointing. Especially for the people who had been working to repeal the amendment since 2004. But, the fact that it failed by such a small margin, compared to how the 2004 amendment passed with such a wide margin, showed that public opinion has really changed a lot. People had trouble with the language of the amendment, probably, but polls show that overall the majority of people do want marriage equality in Ohio.

That, coupled with Governor Fisher's election and his pledge to support marriage equality legislation and a lot of flipped general assembly seats, that put us in a good position to just keep trying again and again.

_JM: When you say that people had trouble with the language of the 2012 proposed amendment, to what language are you referring?_

CM: Well, last year's proposed amendment was not very explicit, and I think that was a problem for voters. Additionally, it didn't provide an out for religious institutions that are opposed to granting same-sex marriages. This current bill is similar in intent to the bill that passed in New York two years ago, in that it allows religious institutions to refuse to perform or accommodate marriages that may conflict with their religious doctrines. It's, it's certainly cautious language, but I personally think it's important, and a necessary change from the 2012 proposed amendment. It shows respect for the rights of clergy, churches and religious organizations to decide for themselves which marriages they will or will not solemnize or celebrate.

Religious and religious-supervised institutions are private entities, separate from the state, and they can't be compelled or forced to perform services in contradiction with their beliefs and doctrines. The law as it stands now prohibits the state from penalizing institutions, their employees, or clergy for refusing to sanctify or recognize marriages in contradiction with their religious doctrines, or for refusing to provide services and accommodations for such weddings. It's a good fit, I think, for the political and religious climate in Ohio, from what I've seen from my perspective with Equality Ohio.

_JM: And what position is that?_

CM: I am currently an assistant director of community outreach for faith-based communities, just started earlier this year, which means I work with religious institutions and leaders to promote safe, pro-equality communities. It's a position that's really close to my heart. I mean, my faith is [laughter] it's complicated, but it's resolute. It's something that is very important and very personal to me.

It's so, so, so important to recognize how important faith is in people's lives and how institutions of faith play a vital role in educating and sustaining communities. They're a cornerstone. It's impossible to ignore, and so it's crucial to reach out to supportive faith communities and individual faith leaders to build a strong pro-equality network—or a coalition, really—across the state.

This accomplishes two things. First, it lets people know that, yes, welcoming, affirming and open communities of faith do actually exist and where they can find them. And second, it identifies individuals and community members who can speak proactively about LGBT equality and educate others about equality issues. It's about creating sustainable pro-equality faith communities by building the capacity of community leaders in order to ultimately create change at the state level.

_JM: So, then we come to early this year, when a first draft of SB 72 is introduced in the state senate. How were you involved between the introduction of the bill and its eventual passage in November?_

CM: Well when Senator Turner originally introduced the bill, at that point I had just started working a real job with Equality Ohio and a coalition of groups started the Campaign for Marriage Equality in support of the bill, so we hopped on board with that.

_JM: How was that compared to supporting last year's proposed constitutional amendment?_

CM: It was very different. Working on the campaign to pass the constitutional amendment…that involved getting information out to the voters and motivating them, and, uh, shoring up support for the amendment. Plus I didn't really know much about anything yet, I didn't really know how to be an effective organizer.

With SB 72, it was much more of a lobbying effort—getting people to contact their state senators and representatives, holding demonstrations in Columbus and other communities to spread the word, utilizing the media, you know, showing that the public support is already there, that the legislators just have to follow suit.

_JM: What was the biggest challenge, for you personally, in encouraging lawmakers to pass this bill?_

CM: Hm. Well, I guess—I guess it was turning support into action. Like…

KP: Like getting people who are in support of the bill to take time out to volunteer to pass out information in their community, take a minute to call or tweet or email or Facebook their representatives.

CM: Yeah. A lot of it was about motivation. And combating intolerance and misunderstandings about the bill and about same-sex marriage in general.

_JM: Particularly in the O.U. community, did you encounter problems with intolerance or lack of motivation?_

CM: Well, there is a fair amount of intolerance and there's only so much you can do to counter that. Education is the best tool for that. There's a, a good deal of apathy towards local government and the political process, I think, but there are also a lot of really, really motivated and passionate students who worked hard to make a difference.

KP: Once the bill passed the Senate in August and moved onto the House, that's when people got really motivated, contacting their representatives and getting the word out. And it took a long time—revisions and lobbying and other issues take precedence and everything—it took all the way until November, but it happened eventually.

_JM: How did you react when you heard the bill had passed?_

CM: Oh gosh. Well, we were just waiting with a bunch of people in the office watching the live feed of the vote on the assembly floor. Everyone was holding their breath.

KP: Yeah, and at one point the video stopped and started buffering and Connor just screamed, 'No! Turn it back on!'

CM: [laughter] Oh gosh, yeah, and then Jean was scrambling and started messing with the computer and Katherine was trying to get back on with the conference call with Sal and Martin who were there outside the statehouse, and everyone had their phones out as the updates rolled in. I mean, we knew—we were pretty sure that we had the votes, but it was still nerve-wracking.

KP: Yeah. And it was, uh, Representative Stebelton, right, was his the last one?

CM: Yeah, yeah, his was the one that put it over fifty. And it seemed like he might flip but we weren't sure. I was so nervous, I was squeezing your hand so hard.

KP: I thought you were going to crush my fingers.

CM: And then Stebelton voted 'yea' and everybody cheered. We just erupted.

KP: It was incredible.

CM: Oh gosh, I was so relieved. It felt like—like validation.

KP: I was absolutely overjoyed. It was amazing—everyone was cheering and crying. You were crying.

CM: I was not! You're the one who was crying.

KP: Fine, we were both crying. And then your sister called! That was really sweet.

CM: Aw, yeah. Okay, yeah, that had me tearing up a little bit.

_JM: So what, in your opinion, is the impact of this bill on the O.U. community?_

CM: I think my hope is that, generally, among students and especially younger people, they'll see that political and social change really can happen, and that they can be active participants in leading that change. Also, I hope that it has made a big dent in helping all people—particularly LGBT people, couples, families—feel comfortable and accepted and recognized in their communities, the school being one of those communities. The passage of this bill shows that LGBT families are equally protected under state law and that all families and partnerships are afforded the same benefits.

_JM: And what is the impact of this bill on you guys, personally? How have things changed now that it's been enacted?_

CM: How have things changed? Well, come on, Jess, you know how things have changed. [laughter] You're going to make me say it? They've changed a lot, I guess. Or not at all, really, depending on how you look at it.

KP: I mean, everything is the same, my day to day is the same, only…now I'm married.

CM: Yeah. I'm, I'm still coming home to the same person, only now he's my husband. As of—how long?—as of about thirty-six hours ago.

KP: My husband.

CM: Yeah... I don't think I'm ever going to get over how wonderful it is to hear that.

_JM: Now, before we go into that whole story, let's back up for a moment and why don't you guys tell us how you met?_

KP: Well that's a long, complicated, messy story in and of itself. [laughter] I guess the short version is: we were both missionaries in Uganda. Connor finished his two-year service before me. He came back, he waited for me. And then I came back in 2011 and we came to U.O. and now we're here.

CM: Yep, that's about it. I had already been on mission for a year and along came this…this arrogant, self-righteous, know-it-all, dashingly handsome, incredibly sweet, thoughtful, charming and wonderful guy. I mean, I was trying so hard to deny that I had feelings for him, but it just wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the anxiety and the guilt. I just wanted to be happy. And I'm happy with him.

KP: And I'm happy with him. My neurotic, overanalyzing, caring, intelligent, beautiful, hilarious, driven, passionate husband.

_JM: What made you two decide to get married on the first day the Marriage Equality Bill took effect? There weren't many—I don't believe any—other U.O. students who tied the knot yesterday. Was this something you've been planning to do for a long time? Was it something that motivated your advocacy of the bill?_

CM: [laughter] No, not really, not at all. Up until last week I hadn't really thought about it. Well, I had, but I didn't want to let it, I guess, distract from everything else. I thought that'd be selfish because the bill affects so many people and I didn't want to seem like I was working toward it for purely personal reasons. Because I wasn't.

KP: I'd thought about it a lot. [laughter] Since early last year, probably.

CM: Are you serious?

KP: Yeah, I'm serious.

_JM: When did you decide?_

CM: Last week. Thursday.

KP: Yep. That gave us a good five days to think it over.

CM: Those were the most nerve-wracking five days of my life. I was so excited but so nervous. Just absolutely terrified and thrilled.

KP: Same. You kept it cool, though. I was so sure that something was going to go wrong, but you had everything under control.

_JM: So how did you make the decision? Was there a proposal?_

KP: [laughter] No, not really. Um, well, it was a spur of the moment thing, kind of.

CM: Yeah, it was. It wasn't even a real discussion or anything. There was no 'Will you?' or 'I want', it was just…what it was.

KP: We were just in the apartment, on the couch, and I go—well, here, you want to reenact this?

CM: [laughter] Okay, sure, go for it.

KP: Okay, it went word-for-word exactly like this: 'Hey, what if we got married?'

CM: 'If we got married?'

KP: 'Yeah. Next week. What if we just went to the courthouse and got a license and got married?'

CM: 'Are you serious? On Tuesday?'

KP: 'Yeah.'

CM: And then there's a long pause wherein I'm thinking, 'Oh my gosh, this is actually happening, this is actually happening, this is actually happening.'

KP: [laughter] And I'm thinking, 'Oh no, I've made a huge mistake, he thinks it's too sudden, he thinks this is a terrible idea, he thinks I'm not taking it seriously.'

CM: And then I say, 'Yeah, yes. Yes. Let's get married.'

_JM: [laughter] This doesn't appear to be the first time you guys have reenacted that scene._

CM: Oh gosh, no. We haven't told a lot of people, but those we did tell wanted to know exactly how it happened, too. [laughter] Plus, I think I've replayed it in my head hundreds of times since.

KP: Same.

CM: I guess the only people we've told so far are some friend here. We called my sister Rachel and her husband and my niece in Pittsburg and our friends Arnold and Nabulungi in Salt Lake and let them listen in at the courthouse. It was really nice to share it with them.

KP: And don't forget all of the people listening to this program right now.

CM: [laughter] Right, yes, all those people to. Oh, geez, was this a bad idea? Please tell me this wasn't a bad idea.

KP: This wasn't a bad idea.

CM: Okay. Hi radio and internet audience! Welcome to the intimate details of our lives! [laughter]

_JM: What was it like at the courthouse yesterday morning?_

CM: It was incredible seeing other people all waiting in the lobby. There were so many happy couples, families. Plus, I mean, the snowstorm yesterday, it was freezing and people still came out. And seeing pictures and videos of people around the state… It was just incredible. Overwhelming. I felt like I didn't deserve to be there. Some other people have faced so much worse discrimination and waiting and being told, 'No, you can't', 'No, you're defective', 'No, you need to be fixed', 'No, you're not allowed', 'No, it's wrong' over and over again…

And I was standing there thinking, 'I'm just a kid, why do I get to take advantage of this alongside all these other people?' But…I guess that's the point, right? That's exactly why we've been working toward this, so that everyone has the opportunity, you don't have to suffer for it, it's a basic civil right.

KP: I'd been wanting to say it for so long. I can't imagine what it's like for couples who have waited forty, fifty years for their love to be legally recognized and respected. And for those people who still don't have that right. I can't even imagine.

CM: When he asked, I didn't even have to think if it was a good idea or not. I just knew. I just knew immediately, like, 'Of course! Of course I want that!' I've never been so certain about anything else in my whole life. And it was so great to just be able to go and make it official.

KP: He's put in so much work and effort and time and sleepless nights into making this happen. I don't know how I've ever deserved someone so amazing. I feel so blessed… Oh, stop blushing, it's true. It's true! [laughter]

_JM: Well, thirty-six hours in, any doubts or misgivings?_

CM: No! I freaked out a bit beforehand, but now, no regrets, no. It was only a day or two after we decided that I started thinking, 'I'm 24, I can't possibly get married! This is, this is crazy! What is my dad going to say? How does Kevin even tell his family? We've been together for three years, now, but are we rushing into things?'

But really, none of it mattered. It didn't matter. None of it was going to change my mind, because it isn't about anyone else, it's about us. And of course it's going to be difficult, of course. Everything that's worth doing is difficult. We've already slogged through a lot of difficult stuff, and we've made it out relatively unscathed.

KP: There are things that we're going to have to deal with, but we'll find a way. This isn't the temple wedding my parents envisioned, I'm sure, but that doesn't matter. I still love them and I hope they still love me, and I love Connor so I hope they love him, too. Signing papers in a freezing-cold auxiliary room in the county courthouse is so much better than a big temple wedding. We're going to make it work because there's no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with.

_JM: So what are your plans for the future?_

KP: [laughter] That's a good question. Um…personally, we're taking it one day at a time. We'll be sticking around here at least for a while. I'll complete my Poli Sci degree in the spring, and then next year I'll be doing my student teaching at one of the local schools to finish my certification. Plus, we have a life here and a home and jobs and bus passes and, you know, grocery store discount cards and cable bills and all that—it's so adult, which is strange because sometimes I still feel like an 18-year-old kid in my first year of university in Utah before I even went on mission. I didn't even know what I wanted to study back then, much less what I wanted to do with my life or who I wanted to do it with, so at least I have a better handle on that now; I have a life carved out here and an amazing husband with whom to share it.

CM: Aw, geez, come on…likewise. Well, as for me? I came here majoring in physics and engineering, if you can believe it, so I'm finishing those up in the spring. I'm continuing my job with Equality Ohio, I've found something I love to do full-time. And I think I'll be starting some master's coursework in community organizing in the fall of next year. I'm really excited, and I really want to be a part of the changes that are still yet to come because there is still a lot that needs to be done.

The passage of the Marriage Equality Bill was a huge step forward for Ohio, undoubtedly, but progress still needs to be made in ensuring the rights of LGBT citizens and families—ending discrimination in housing and employment, strengthening hate crime legislation, creating safe schools. There's a lot of work yet to do, but there are also a lot of passionate and motivated people willing to put their time and effort toward making this state more inclusive and accepting.

_JM: Well that is a fine sentiment on which to wrap up this segment of our show. I want to thank the newly-married O.U. seniors Connor McKinley and Kevin Price for joining us today on 'Student Perspectives'. Thank you so much guys._

KP: Of course.

CM: Thanks for having us.

_JM: Before we break, I have to ask: you've been married for a day and a half, why did you agree to come on a student radio program on a Wednesday night? Shouldn't you guys be on a honeymoon? Or at least a holiday break?_

CM: We have work! I was at the office all day today. No rest for the newly-marrieds.

KP: We did this so quickly that we didn't really plan ahead for that.

CM: Plus we're pretty snowed in. Hopefully we won't have trouble making it to Pittsburgh on Christmas Eve.

KP: We have a drafty apartment with a space heater, a stocked fridge, and plans to hole up for the next couple days, I'm sure we'll be just fine. [laughter]

_JM: Sounds good. Again, thank you to Connor McKinley and Kevin Price for joining us today. We're going to take a break and when we return, Chris Brady will be in the studio to host a round-table discussion with representatives from U.O. College Republicans and the U.O. Democratic Caucus on the implications of SB 72. I'm Jessica Merrit and you're listening to 'Student Perspectives' on WUOH 88.3._


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